I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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