Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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