Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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