we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
