so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
