I hope mine doesn't look like that
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
When are your genitals available?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
