Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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