Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
