People with herpes should wear stickers.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize