Your face is a jimmy john
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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