This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
