Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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