she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
