As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
