idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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