Umm I'm too high to move.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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