It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
