8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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