Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
