I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
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It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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