is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
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I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
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You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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