At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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