omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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