Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
