its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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