thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
