I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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