Already got asked if we're dating
I'm lost and stupid without you.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
