Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
