Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
