Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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