once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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