I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize