Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
