Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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