Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
