Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
