she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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