You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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