I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize