do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love having hate sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
