I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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