I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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