$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
When did angry sex become our thing?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
