i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
