who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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