one might say we're banned from that church
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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