Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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