All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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