I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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