Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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