i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
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Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
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I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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