I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
