thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
