I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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