I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
