idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
