it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
