I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
