So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
