I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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