So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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