I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
