Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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